KERNELS OF WISDOM: Moms never stop letting them go
Getty images A mom hugs her young daughter, sending her off on the school bus on the first day of school.
"Children and mothers never truly part, bound in the beating of each other’s heart."
Well it’s that time of year again! And for some of our kids they’re doing something for the first time in their lives. Come Tuesday, little four-year-old Timothy is off to school for the very first time, 12-year-old Megan is transitioning from public school to high school, Jeff now 19, is off to college, while his long-time friend Kaylee starts her freshman year in university. Needless to say it’s a big day for all of them, and, it’s equally as big a day too for all their parents, especially their moms!
Did I say moms? You bet I did. Not that it’s not a big day for the dad’s of these children, teens and teenagers, but for a mom, going to public school, high school, college or university for the first time for her child means, and here’s the crunch, she’s letting them go, again, and there may well be some anxiety associated with that. It’s what I’ve called all through the years in writing these columns, the ‘N.C.R. syndrome’. Those letters stand for ‘nurturing’, ‘cutting’ and ‘releasing’. When a child is conceived in the womb, it is ‘nurtured’ there in utero for a nine-month gestation period. Then, at the end of the pregnancy cycle the child is born and the umbilical cord that attaches it to it’s mother’s placenta is severed, that’s the ‘cutting’. At that junction the newborn child is ‘released’ from its mother.
Now that process, let’s call it the ‘N.C.R. process’, that only occurs once physically in the life of every child, throughout the mother’s relationship with her son or daughter it will occur emotionally again and again. It happens when she drops them off at day care for the first time, when she gets a babysitter for the first time, when they move away from home, when they get married, when they are deployed as soldiers to go overseas to serve their country, and on and on it goes. You can be assured that this coming Monday and Tuesday, as moms let their children go into different levels of the educational system there will be lots of hugging at schools and college and university campuses, and should I say, lots of tears.
And the question is how does a mother deal with that? First of all there’s great benefit in knowing as a mother that in the course of your child’s life you will always be letting them go. What’s challenging about is that it’s ingrained in you as a mom to be the protector, that’s what happened to them in their first nine months of life in utero, you were the protector. When you release them into the world of kindergarten, high school, college and university, that maternal protection is gone, and potentially anxiety for their well being may be birthed in your heart.
How do you deal with that? Well secondly, here’s how you deal with it. You entrust them into the hands of God. There’s the old Christian cliche, “Let go, and let God”. What that means essentially is you take your hands off your child and relinquish them, or give them over to the care of God. On your part that is an act of faith, but believe me God will watch over little Timothy as he begins pre-kindergarten classes at school, or 19-year-old Kaylee as she adjusts to her freshman year in university. Still there may well be on your part the inclination to worry about your child, so thirdly, it’s crucially important for you as a mom to have a consistent prayer life wherein you lay all your burdens at the feet of Jesus, particularly the weighty burden of worrying about your child.
Listen to Paul’s advice in Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God, and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (The Bible, Philippians 4:6-7)
Mom that’s a key to you having peace in your heart as they move through the educational system. Make sure you put it into practice! Well mom, Monday and Tuesday are just around the corner, but always remember, until the day you die, you’ll always be nurturing, cutting and releasing them, always letting them go, that’s just who you are, and that’s the way God made you. Thank God for you. Little Timothy, Megan, Jeff and Kaylee are glad they all have a mom, without you mom, life for them, just wouldn’t be the same, believe me, it just wouldn’t be the same!